Psych of Gender Discussion forum #5

After watching Baldoni’s TED Talk, the CBS Mornings video, and the Build Up Boys video, summarize the overall message of the videos. Provide your own examples of self-regulation, self-presentation, and self-censoring based on gender-related stereotypes and expectations. You might choose hypothetical or personal examples of the ways in which people might regulate how they present and express themselves (i.e., self-presentation and self-regulation, respectively). Consider ways in which people (or you) censor their words or behavior in order to conform to social norms and expected gender role stereotypes.

How might we, as a society or interpersonally, reduce gender-related self-regulation and raise consciousness regarding the ways in which gender role expectations limit authentic self-expression and potentially negatively affect mental and physical health? 

These are the 2 Classmate Responses:

Classmate #1 Anthony

In my military career in the Air Force, I’ve encountered parallels to the themes discussed in the videos, particularly Justin Baldoni’s TED Talk. The military, like any other institution, has its own set of expectations and stereotypes related to gender roles and expressions of masculinity. In certain situations, there’s a perceived pressure to conform to traditional notions of toughness, resilience, and stoicism. In the Air Force, there’s a prevalent culture that values strength, both physical and mental. There have been instances where expressing vulnerability or acknowledging personal struggles might be perceived as a deviation from the expected norm. Much like the societal scripts discussed by Baldoni, there’s a set narrative about what it means to be a “strong” and “tough” military professional. 

I’ve witnessed how some fellow Airmen engage in self-regulation and self-censoring. This might involve downplaying personal challenges or avoiding discussions about emotions to align with the established image of a resilient and unwavering service member. This self-regulation, while driven by a desire to fit into the military culture, can also contribute to a lack of authenticity and hinder genuine connections within the team. Addressing these challenges requires a shift in the military culture, promoting a more inclusive understanding of strength and resilience. Just as Baldoni advocates for a redefinition of masculinity, fostering environments within the military that encourage open communication, empathy, and support can contribute to breaking free from rigid gender expectations. Recognizing the diversity of experiences and expressions within the military can enhance team dynamics and overall well-being. As I navigate my military career, I strive to be part of conversations and initiatives that promote a more inclusive and authentic expression of identity within the Air Force.

Classmate #2 Catherine

Baldoni’s video talked a lot about stereotypes for men and how being ‘man enough’ is not the highest goal men should achieve. He talks about redefining masculinity and what it means to be a man. That being human, the goal should be to be a good human who cares no matter their gender. Baldoni talks about expectations and his own experience with them and shares his wisdom on overcoming them and being more than what is expected for a gender. Qualities make people not genders. 

The CBS Mornings video talks about the Me Too movement, and giving a voice to everyone especially girls and women. However, this movement that is focused on women and girls brings a new perspective to men and boys. That they too struggle and have expectations on them. They have pressures too. The emotions they are expected to feel and the ones they are not. 

The Build Up Boys video discusses what it means to be a boy. How parenting plays a role in creating the people of the next generations. How parents can better parent boys to help them cope with expectations and pressure they face. How to develop into a man from a boy, but a good man. The importance of role models for boys who want to become men. 

Self-regulation can be educating ourselves on emotions and appropriate behaviors in certain situations. To know ourselves, our triggers, and how we calm ourselves down. Self- presentation is how we present ourselves to others. Sometimes these are not true. We may present ourselves as very intelligent, or very rich but not actually be either. Self censorship can be being aware of the things we’re saying. Mentally correcting ourselves if we are thinking negative thoughts, physically correcting the things we say to make sure they are nice and positive. Men may be more harsh in the things they say or more sexual in conversations. Self regulating can be making sure that they are aware of what can cause them to talk this way, and self censorship can be making sure they talk appropriately for the situation. Not making sexual jokes in a business meeting. I personally need to work on my self censorship. I often talk without thinking. Not everything I say is mean but I am very reactive in stressful situations. People generally censor their behavior and words depending on situation. Not saying certain words like the N word as a white person. Social norms and stereotypes can impact how people talk. Black people may censor the things they say around white people. White people may curse less or not use the N word around other races. In society gender related self regulation is not necessarily a bad thing. This is because self regulation can be positive. However, if someone is thinking ‘oh I cannot be upset because I am a man and must be strong” thoughts like these could use less regulation. Not regulating because of gender or stereotypes can be a good thing. Not letting a gender define you, what you say and believe. Spreading more equality and making everywhere a safe space so people feel they can speak freely without regards to their gender. Letting every man and boy know it is ok to feel things and be upset. That they do not have to be strong all the time. Raiding conciseness about gender roles and expectations can benefit society. It can endorse a more welcoming space, and less strife over gender divisions. Gender roles and expectations can limit authenticity. If people are thinking about what they are saying too much and then saying something other than what they really felt, it does not benefit anyone. Specifically for men, the expectations to be positive and tough all the time must be very hard. If humans just let other humans feel the world would be better.