couple counselling

Karen and Dan are a married bisexual couple who engage in polyamory, or romantic and sexual relationships with other individuals, with the consent of everyone involved.  They have decided to come into couples counseling off and on throughout their relationship just as a way to ‘check in’ with each other to make sure that everyone is still content with the conditions of their relationship.

Karen has recently started showing up with significant bruising that you can see.  In one session, she has clear bruising around her neck, and it looks as if someone has tried to choke her.  You are worried that this might be a situation of domestic violence, and you privately question Karen about this while Dan is settling their bill with the office manager.

When you ask Karen about the bruises, she laughs nervously and assures you that she is not in any danger. Your immediate sense is that Karen has been the victim of intimate partner violence.  You persist in your questioning as Dan joins the conversation.

Karen and Dan seem a bit embarrassed, but admit that they are part of a fetish community in which bondage and discipline have resulted in Karen’s bruises.  She plays a submissive role to Dan’s master role, and the injuries were sustained during a consensual sexual experience.

Over time, Karen’s bruising becomes more visible, and in subsequent sessions, you notice that Dan’s tone becomes more and more demanding and domineering over Karen.  You also notice that his behavior has become physically more intimidating to her.  But, both Dan and Karen insist that they are happy with their situation and that this behavior is consensual.  Despite their assurances, you can’t help but be concerned about the boundary between consensual behavior and intimate partner violence.  

Today, Karen comes to the session in visible pain from an injury to her arm, which she sustained when Dan shoved her and she stumbled and fell.

Using the 8-step decision-making model, determine whether or not you would intervene in this situation as an example of intimate partner violence.  Document specifically how the major values described in the readings (justice, autonomy, beneficence, etc.) influence your decision.  It is most important here to ‘show your work’ in each step.  Documentation is everything in an ethical dilemma, so be thorough and thoughtful, remembering that this documentation could be subpoenaed into court proceedings.